As usual, this is posed as a question for discussion, not a conclusion:
I remember several years ago a lady in the group I was in at the time speak about her plans for the Xmas break. She was intending, for the first time, to go away and leave the husband and ‘kids’ (I think they were fairly grown up) to fend for themselves. The tutor questioned this line of action, whether it was for ‘me’ or whether it was service. The argument of the lady in question was, ‘Well they’re going to have to learn to look after themselves sometime’.
So… is there a danger of weakening someone else through ‘service’? If a mother always does everything for her children will they grow up unable to cook or tie their own shoelaces? Or perhaps worse, grow up with no inclination to learn how to cook or tie their own shoelaces? Is there another kind of service that may not necessarily respond to the immediate need but has in mind the long term need for independence? ... click "Read more"
To step away from the metaphor and speak more directly about tutors and students (both on the giving and receiving end): I question whether there are two kinds of help:
- that which confirms and supports the inner knowledge
- someone ‘trying’ to help
The former is experienced as freeing and strengthens trust in oneself. The latter is an identity, and ahankara is hiding within it, protecting itself. Therefore it’s raison d’etre will presumably involve keeping someone else dependant so that it can maintain this? And presumably maximise the acquisition of it’s punya points?
To paraphrase an old college teacher of mine:
“The goal of a teacher is to make himself redundant.” or
"The true Guru …knows you need nothing, not even him, and is never tired of reminding you."
~ Nisargadatta Maharaj
Friday, February 23, 2007
Service?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
I find your distinction accurate, Kapila, about service. This is such a big subject with many opportunities and pitfalls along the way. In ordinary life we would be lost without service more or less freely given.
And, it seems to me, there's an area between confirming inner knowledge and 'trying to help' that is helpful and nourishing, but which also raises questions.
To take an example in my own life, if I may. I spend quite a bit of time, energy and application working with my residents' association. Sometimes it seems as though I'm the one 'doing everything' and holding everything together. All on a voluntary basis of course.
I receive lots of pats on the back, the association gets stronger, membership increases, we have a bigger voice and can accomplish more such as sponsoring tree planting in conjunction with the Council. With increased confidence, more people are inclined to volunteer their services (that in itself indirectly addresses one of your points).
All well and good - I have no qualms about any of this as such. And yet, it has its dangers - Mrs Busy Bee enjoying the sense of importance. Ha!
It is actually not so difficult to recognise the danger signs if you've once been alerted to them. The desire to control, to have one's way cuts right across true service. Yet it's not always easy to stop meddling while, in the same breath, making one's capabilities available. And without resentment, that sibling of interference.
The point I hope I'm making is that there's little difference between 'in' and 'out' of School when it comes to service. The only possible difference, as it seems,is the level of consciousness.
I was at a wedding last weekend, a very full and hospitable event, deftly choreographed with great attention to due ceremony and detail. There was no sense of reservation, lots of eating, drinking and dancing, and it occurs to me now that, if the service is full, it will be satisfactory and little mistakes won't matter.
The guests also have their part to play - chiefly, to be delighted by everything. In this sense service is essential to the proper production of the play.
So - does service weaken? You've really answered the question yourself. It must depend on service to... what?
Hi Laura
Your example of people volunteering for the residents association helps. In this case, the service is providing people an opportunity to contribute, not doing it for them?
I'm beginning to think that the service is simply supporting someone's next step in a positive direction, whatever that may be? It'll be different for different people. Giving them the answer, assuming we have it, doesn't help as they have to put in the work themselves. Even the best acts of charity are helping people to help themselves.
Somewhere amongst all this is the emergence of an idea of a harmony between cooperation and independence? Service without stifling? Independence without selfishness? Again, "whole men move together".
There plainly is a risk of weakening someone else through "service", as you say, Kapila.
The key to avoiding it is to recognise one's own selfish motivation in offering "service". Is it to avoid looking at the issues that I should be dealing with in myself that I concern myself so much with others' problems? Is it to assert 'my power' over someone else? Etc.
If one is able to recognise these issues, then the desire of others to have one as a slave, or whatever, will also be recognisable.
Post a Comment