As the title suggests, this is the 200th post on this blog (thanks to Laura, Son of Moses, Kapila and others who have contributed to the total). Maybe this is a good time to reassess.
When the blog started as "Free the Teaching" last April, I was personally motivated to make a nuisance of myself. The "whyaretheydead" message board had forced St James and the School into positive action, and having participated on that board for about 3 months, I had had enough. Being an "out" member of the School on there was no fun at all, unless you're one of those people that enjoy sports like urban hang-gliding, traffic-dancing or javelin-catching. Even so, it seemed absurd that it was the only place to discuss the School openly and honestly.
I also had the view (which I still hold) that the School's problems are not due to mystical blockages in the divine ether, or demonic evil-doing behind the scenes, but because we are not getting things right. The reason we are not getting things right was that we have not listened properly to the Shankaracharya and, instead of that, interpreted his words in a special way that was less threatening to us. I believe that is the real reason why the School has been so reluctant to release the Conversations to its own students before they have heard them several times in a group context. By restricting access to the Conversations except via the tutorial voice, the School has been able to control our understanding of the Conversations. By the time a student gets a copy, his understanding of their contents has been thoroughly prepared.
This is not sinister or dishonest. It is human nature, expressed in a rather paranoid way. I've detailed extensively elsewhere my views on this, but to give you an example, the School has traditionally had a very possessive view of its members. It was a jealous god, and anyone who left the fold was to be regarded as 'fallen'. Someone trying to be associated with the School without being an active member was believed to be benefitting from the sattva of others without doing the work. Friendships within the School were based on truth, and so if someone left then what would that friendship be based on, except a lie?
All of these ideas are plainly ridiculous, as well as impractical. It creates paranoia and shame among the members, and anger and bitterness among the "leavers".
But even if we were disposed to ignore the evidence of our own eyes, we could have listened to what the Shankaracharya told us about the two kinds of disciples at the ashram. The first kind ("inmates") remain there, working all the time under discipline; the second kind live their lives and only attend when they feel the need to do so. There is no distinction in what he says between the two. It is a matter of the needs of the disciples, and not of the needs of the ashram.
This issue has been raised with our leader and he has responded. The parties earlier this year were generally felt to have been a success, and no doubt over time the old scars will heal and a proper relationship with our members past and present will be established. Other initiatives have appeared in the past year and are under way that will fundamentally alter the way the School functions, and I believe that on the whole these changes are for the good.
It's not relevant to wonder whether the existence of this blog has made a difference. The question now is whether it has a place in the present situation.
It has seemed in recent weeks that the blog has begun to lose its way. Discussions about the merits of "other paths", have not, to my mind, added a great deal. Those that have chosen to go elsewhere are welcome to it and we wish them luck, but this blog is not the place for them to advertise their new affiliation or to compare it to the School. It's a bit like a discussion forum on the future of the Church of England being taken over by people who have left its gentle bumbling behind and converted to something more radical and uncompromising, let us say Islam. Maybe the grass is greener. As I am sure you have heard,
There is a happy land far far away,
Where they have ham and eggs
Three times a day.
But this blog is, I am afraid, about the School.
Those that believe, on the other hand, that because this is all a dream there is therefore nothing to do or discuss should perhaps not take part in the discussion. This blog was created with the view that there is work that needs to go on (aaargh ... language becoming more impersonal ... and ... dead ... must avoid ... linguistic elephant-traps), all right - I believe we need to do some work - no-one will do it for us - to clear away the obstacles. If you don't share that view, fine. Just don't use this blog to tell me off about it.
Another thing the blog is not for is providing 'inspiration'. Reading this blog will, regretfully, probably not help you to become self-realized. It will never be the group evening you wish you had. Group is for self-realization. Blog is for exploring how the School is, and how it should be (based on philosophical principle), and how the gap can be closed. It can still be fun, of course, but let's not forget why we are bothering.
Am I being unreasonable or preachy here? I probably am, but I'm just doing my best. I'd rather be a Socrates-type mosquito, irritating people into life a little bit, than persist with habitual error. The School is very good at continuing in a straight line, and unfortunately it does tend towards tamasic repetition unless someone breaks ranks. That means someone has to play the part of breaking ranks, for the good of the School. While remembering that it is just playing a part.
Again, I feel that after 200 posts the blog has somewhat lost its way, and we need to have a think about it.
Should we:
(a) stop, given that the School is changing rapidly and radically?
(b) replace the blog with something less personal to me, such as a bulletin board, or an edited newsletter which seeks contributions from interesting people?
(c) replace it with, say, a monthly or bi-monthly informal meeting?
(d) try to replace it with an official regular meeting?
(e) your suggestion here
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