From na

na posted a comment which I thought people should read ...

Hi there

I hope I won't write a long piece, because these things can be quite addictive and I am meant to be working! But I would like to say that I have recently for the first time had a spring in my step and a tingle of excitment about the School. That may seem surpirsing - and it is to me as well. Only a few weeks ago I felt a kind of fear in relation to all the events with the website and the enquiry, though it was only there vaguely in the background at times. I have been wondering what this fear was and it was partly a fear of exposure and a fear of being personally attacked for some reason.

But anyway, now, after some days feeling that uncomfortable feeling where you realise things you had assumed to be true were thrown into question, and after an extremely moving and very useful meeting with Mr Lambie which our level had, I feel that what is happening is hugely positive.

It is time to separate the things which are true from those which are not - which is a very philosophical activity in itself.

On a personal level I find I have been feeling very free, though I had not seen that I felt bound before. Over the last few days I have voluntarily told many friends who only knew a little bit about the School everything that has been happening, the good, the bad, and the Channel 4 News Story. For the first time I have not felt the need to hide the slightly strange things the School does and make it sound more like a Buddhist retreat/ health-farm thing which I let them assume it was. I could tell them anything. And better friends we were at the end of it.

It seems crazy that I felt I couldn't be open about absolutely everything before, but what I think has happened is that through the serious questioning process that has been going on within myself over the past few weeks, something more truthful has been distilled out of all the swirling ideas!

On a more general level, the feeling of excitment I have been feeling is that at last the School is changing. There have always been things I have disagreed with about the School, but I keep coming because what I find of value in it far outweighs these things. But change has been at the pace of a glacier. But now it feels like things aren't just set in stone - the "if you don't agree it's because you don't understand yet" idea is quickly disappearing. The idea that we can all search for the truth and learn through our own experience - truly - is very exciting.

I am now willing to question, willing to be proved wrong, because I would rather find the truth (whatever it is) than have a feeling of being right. Through these weeks of upheaval I have had found that the only things which I feel I can trust completely are my self, and my own experience. These are things which we have already spend time looking at in the School so it's not been completely alien - just a shift.

So in a way I would like to thank the forces that have made this happen.